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40 Stories Before 40 (Stories 1 & 2)

I’m a little late in starting this blog, and obviously it’s been awhile since I’ve published anything on this page. My now almost 14-year-old son has continued to remind me that I’m almost 40, like he’s predicting doomsday or something. He’s taken an odd interest in attempting to tease me a bit, so I’ve decided that instead of accepting the narrative he paints with his remarks, I’m going to celebrate the heck out of this.

40 of my most memorable life stories I’ll give you until the day I turn the “Big” 4-0, and because I’m late in starting, y’all get to read two each day for the next couple days so I can catch up. Please forgive my absent mind…I’m almost 40, you know. 😉

Story 1 (for March 5th):

This particular story creates the setting for most of the others I am eager to share. It’s the story of my high school sweetheart, Jake. Let’s not take this story as a romantic one, though. Instead, it’s thick with my own shame, some humor, and just a little sweetness sprinkled throughout.

Jake and I were actually good kindergarten friends when we started school. I have a picture of the two of us performing in the class circus, and kept only his Garfield valentine from that year. Interestingly enough, after kindergarten, we went to different schools until junior high (7th grade), and by then, both of us changed enough that we didn’t care for each other one bit. To me, in 7th grade, Jake was the class clown who for some reason had horrible taste in clothing and footwear. He wore sweatpants (remember, this was the 90’s!) and had the most G0d-awful green Nike high tops. No need to add any more at this point, you can probably feel my distaste for his 7th grade self. I’m sure I wasn’t any better, either. My family had hosted a foreign exchange student at that time, so I was relishing in the attention that came with having someone living with me who had never seen snow before. I was a snot, and I cringe typing this story because I know how bad it makes me look. Please remember, the prefrontal cortex is in full chaos during these years. I’ve since grown, reflected, and promised to be better.

Fast forward two years to the start of 9th grade. Our class of 130 or so had begun dating (or “going out with”) one another, and I had established a small circle of regular friends in the middle of the popularity hierarchy. One of them ended up going out with Jake that fall, so I certainly was exposed to his class clown shenanigans more than ever, and Jake’s status elevated because he was going out with my friend, Kristi.

As female friends so often do, Kristi and I ended up getting in an argument of some sort – don’t ask me what it was about, for I can only promise you it was petty. I was livid for some time, and instead of seeking Kristi out to reconcile our differences, I did what any high school female would do and attempted what I thought was sweet revenge. I asked Jake to hang out with me so Kristi would be jealous.

Low and behold, I ended up going out with Jake for the rest of high school…and then college (add a “break” or two in those years, of course). We’ve been married for almost 17 years, together for almost 25 years. I’m not sure Kristi would call it sweet revenge, but I know my life changed for the better because of Jake’s ability to ground me and make me laugh at the same time, and although he might not admit it, I’ve brought structure, safety, and sincerity to his world. We make a good pair, that’s for sure.

 

Story 2 (for March 6th):

I was in my third year of teaching the second half of the school year at a rural elementary school. When first hired, it was understood that the gentleman I shared the position with (he taught the first half) would ease out into retirement in the third year of job-sharing. So for the first half of each year, I subbed, volunteered in my soon-to-be classroom, coached softball and basketball, taught summer school, and did pretty much anything I could to continue showing my commitment to the school. This final (third) year was coming to a close, and I was pregnant with our son, Caden. Caden was due to be born the beginning of June, giving me perfect timing to develop sub plans for the last few days of school, have a summer of cuddling and coddling, and return (hopefully) full-time in the fall.

As expected, my first-half colleague announced that he was officially retiring. This set off the process of posting the position’s opening, interviewing, and selecting candidates. At this same time, our school had a new principal. I won’t name this person, but he was very open about his goal of getting more males into the elementary setting to the staff. There were staff meetings where he outwardly stated this wish. When the time came to select candidates for interviews, there were 11 people called…and only two of them female. At 36 weeks pregnant and the beginning of the school week in mid-April, I interviewed with the committee and returned to the classroom to teach the remainder of the day. On Friday of that week, I was called into my principal’s office and informed that I was not selected for the position. I remember having a prenatal appointment after school that day, and my doctor told me my blood pressure had skyrocketed, and that I needed to try and calm myself and my body over the weekend.

By the following Monday, I had been informed that students had started a petition to take some sort of action (those little dearies). They passed around a notebook for everyone to sign while many of my own colleagues had flowers and gifts delivered to the classroom to show their support. The chair of the school board called me that evening and asked if I would be comfortable if she brought this to the attention of the entire board, to which I responded my gratitude and that she was free to do as she wished, but I wanted no part of it. Well, at the end of the week (Friday again), I was called into my principal’s office for the second time. He proceeded to chastise me for not following the chain of command with everything that was being done. I remember leaving his office in tears (I’m actually crying as I type about this horrendous experience). That night, Caden decided to come into the world three weeks early, but perfectly timed for my needs – and with a smooth delivery in under 2 hours. Get this: my principal even had the audacity to send an email stating that I was to write the three week’s worth of lesson plans I hadn’t done yet due to my son’s early arrival. How’s that for leadership?

I’ll tell you what, though. That experience taught me who I wanted to be as a leader and pushed me to grow, learn, and strive to always work on myself so that I may serve others in a way that encourages their own positive growth. What an amazing learning opportunity to come from such a dark time!

I am proud to share that I have my Masters in Teaching, Learning & Leadership, my K-12 Administrator license, and have countless experiences in keynoting, presenting, creating, designing, leading, coaching, coordinating, developing, publishing… and the list goes on. I am a better person, and I vow as a leader to support others in becoming better versions of themselves, all because of Story 2.

 

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